A client came to me very upset about a situation. Today her manager mentioned in a staff meeting that he’d just posted an internal position on the company intranet. He said he’d give it 10 days and if no qualified applicants responded he would put it out as a global search. “Why didn’t he come to me first?” she asked. “I am perfectly qualified. Clearly, he doesn’t want to consider me for that position. I am so angry I am working on my resume to start looking for another job”.
Let’s step back, I suggested. You think he won’t consider you for the position. You feel angry, Your action is to look for another job. I asked, “What do you know to be true?” The only reality, she conceded, is that a position had been posted. I asked her to consider discussing the position with your manager before you taking any action.
The manager explained he could not seek out one individual, although he felt she was very qualified. As it turns, out she applied and was granted the position.
How many times are you in a situation when your thoughts affect your feelings and your feelings affect your actions? Sometimes it makes sense but not if we jump to conclusions without checking facts? People do this all the time and the result is often stress, frustration and leads to erroneous assumptions and poor results.
It’s pretty basic and you can do it to feel better about yourself and your life. Ask:
- What is the situation?
- Are my thoughts rational, founded or are they based on assumptions?
- Am I allowing feelings to affect my actions?
- Are my actions warranted?
- Are the results what I want?
Want to talk about your thoughts, feelings and actions? Contact me for a complimentary discovery situation. I look forward to hearing from you!